Sabbath is over. It’s exactly five minutes past midnight and I’ve had to summon myself to this meeting which I pray you attend, preside over and give the way forward. It has come to my attention that I’m deeply seriously failing you in some areas. This has to change. The past few weeks I’m sure have utterly displeased you and because of that I’m here to apologize and make my ways right. I can’t do this on my own and so I plead for your grace, for the gift of repentance and for the strength to change my attitude and my ways.
I’ve had a deep long look at myself, my character and my ways. To be very honest, I’ve been disgusted by what I have seen. I don’t like it all. How does a Christian afford to throw pity parties for days on end? How have I managed to complain this much and still you let the sun shine in my corner? I’ve taken your blessings for granted. I’ve toyed around with jealousy and envy. I’ve played comparison games for long enough. What happened to “Count your blessings, name them one by one”? What happened to “Godliness with contentment is great gain”?
Enough is enough. I need to change. I need to die. Self, that is, has to die. “Who shall deliver me from this body of death?” I know you have all the answers, so I plead once more that you set me straight. All these rough edges need to be smoothened out and I know you are in the best position to do this. I know I have previously complained when you began a good work in me. Allow me to take back my harsh words when you turned the furnace a little hotter. Allow me to take back my complaints, my displeasure and my anger.
Today, I implore you, keep doing what you have been doing. Keep refining, keep polishing. Do what you do best. If it means turning the furnace seven times hotter than it is, Dear Jesus, today I give you the permission. Lord have your way. I’ve always tried to get you to cool things down, to give me an easy life, but today, I think it is better when you hold the reins. I think it is better when you take charge and lead me all the way. I know you love me. I have hope in your forgiveness. I have hope that you will mold me afresh.
God, have mercy on me, a sinner.